I can’t remember the first time I heard this phrase, but I know who said it: my dad. And at the time that I heard it I kind of laughed it off, not really understanding what the relevance was. I’m not catholic and I know how to cook, so who really cares? But, today in the shower (where all the best thoughts happen) I started really thinking about what that phrase means for me and it made me really evaluate what I’ve learned (or should have learned) from my past relationships.
Is she Catholic?
Like I said, I’m not Catholic. I’m not partocularly religious at all. So if she was Catholic I’m not sure how well she would like me. But that’s kind of the point, isn’t it? The real question is, “Where do you both stand on moral, ethical, political, cultural, social issues, etc? And are these views compatible?”
That’s heavy to think about, but it’s going to show itself over and over especially if you have strong convictions about your beliefs. Let’s have an example: a significant other makes a moral/ethical decision that you don’t agree with, you don’t feel good about it. At least I don’t. I want to be proud and say that she is an accurate representation of both of us as a unit. It’s almost like running a small business. If one owner is always friendly and the other is a total jerk, it hurts both of their business.
Can she make a roux?
I’m not sure how prevelant the ability to make a roux is anymore. So you might be looking a while for this one if you take it literally. But again the real question is a little deeper, “Do you both possess complimentary life skills, habits, etc?”
This is so hard to gauge because it only really comes into play once it’s way too late: if you’re living together. But I guarantee there is nothing like the frustration of wanting to come home to something clean (looking AND smelling!) only to discover that your floor is covered in all the outfits she decided not to wear today. As another example, if neither of you are very good about whipping out the bleach on the bathtub, the bathtub will never be white. Of course, you might be willing to accept that :p
But having a complimentary lifestyle goes even deeper into having a complimentary vision for your lives. Of course compromise comes into play and there is such a thing as an acceptable loss. You have to evaluate which battles are really worth fighting and what you can be flexible with. But if you love your hometown and she wants to live in Europe… one of you is going to lose.
This is more just for me to write down and get the thoughts out of my head. I don’t really feel like I know any significant about relationships to give anyone advice. I’m just learning along the way, the same as everyone else. But if it helps you in your thoughts, I’m glad. Two simple questions, really big implications.